Monthly Archives: July 2018

Depression: How I Got Out

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I have been wanting to share my experience as a survivor of depression but nothing could really set my fingers to start working with these keypads.

Then few weeks ago, following the development of my niece’s pageant, a question was asked from her: how would you help a person experiencing depression? Her answer was quick and short: A person suffering depression needs someone to listen, and I am willing to listen and give some advice to a person suffering from depression. Immediately after a lively exchage of opinions roused among her sibblings, uncles and aunt. Someone said she gave a wrong answer, someone said she gave the right answer, her uncle said she should have read articles on Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade where it said that seeking a professional help is advised. Me on the otherhand regrets the fact that I fail to prepare my niece on that topic. Through my first hand experience, she could have nailed the Q&A. While my niece and her uncle is right, I still find the answers weak in some point. Here’s why:

1) While having listened to at first is part of the solution, it is not always therapeutic. I find being listened to very helpful only for confirmatory diagnosis. But my depression apart from due to burnt out is also due to some kind of addiction in remembering or relishing hurts and pain. Something similar to a grieving person, where relishing memories of the departed beloved brings the pain of loss. Yet, these repetative speaking of my pain makes me relive my hurts, and consequently increasing the stress hormone thereby aggravating depression. Listening therefore has it’s limit. So I decided to cut this seeking to be listened to and sought for other options.

2) Advice. This is the hard part on people who want to help because in my case, advices becomes a painful experience, since as a depressed person I associate it with a reprimand or rejection of my way of doing things. When I was suffering from depression, I would rather hear positive encouring words and inspiration.

3) Psychiatric help. It helped me a lot in identifying my state of depression but the rest becomes an annoying repetative, “on and off” cycle of talk teraphy. Again, because talking much about my pain only

agravates the situation. Although I am not saying they are useless, what am saying is at this point of time, the science of psychology has not yet fully grasp what works and does not work for every depressed person.

So what helped me get out of being depressed?

I got out through physical activity or exercise particularly biking. Why? Because biking is an exercise that recharged my already depleated happy hormone. Moreover, through sweating it out and good breathing, the production of stress hormone was put to a halt. So everytime am asked how I got out of depression, I answer by finding the physical excercise that I enjoy. Thanks to bicycle 😊

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Dead Bury the Dead

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“Lord let me first go and bury my father. But Jesus said to him, let the dead Bury their dead, but do thou go and proclaim the kingdom of God. ” (Lk9:59-60)

This passage took on a new meaning to me when someone close to me who is on a path to change got into trouble. His was already a path toward a financially responsible and respectable lifestyle… but, due to some sort of pride went to see his old friends who remains to be an irresponsible drunkards to boast about his success. After few repeated meetings, he once again fell into drunkenness, lost his mind one night and verbally harassed a lady via private mail. Now, he cannot go back to the town of his birth for fear of being in prison.

Change or conversion if sincerely sought must “let the dead bury the dead. ” Now to me that means, do not go back to your friends who were a living dead. Who are living dead? Those who are alive but are actually wasting their time here on earth in drugs/alcohol/gambling and other form of vices. They are those who are slowly killing themselves and those around them. When we leave them to change our life for the better the old self is dead and left in the memory of those friends who are living dead. To say “Let me go back to bury my father” could be taken figuratively as let me go back to the old environment, the ones I call my home, the one that taught me all these vices. There is no need to go back to them, because if you want remove something in your life (bad habits) you have to do it cold turkey (Bo Sanchez). So, when it comes to bad company that made you who you are, let go. To do otherwise is to put oneself in the danger of losing ones life again. Why? The power of the subconscious that has been deeply rooted in the past. It is too difficult to resist. St. Josemaria once said when it comes to temptation “be brave as to flee.” Bad company is a strong temptation, hence is apt to say let go and let those living dead bury the dead.